However, if you find yourself in a tricky situation with your partner, it could be because youre in fact not sexually attracted to them. The result was of course that she started to pull even further away. Limited-Time Deal on Marriage Course. Know some of the reasons for not being sexually attracted to your partner: 1. For those whose wives just got pregnant or have just put to birth, it is normal for you to witness a change in how well she desires sexual gratification. So your honesty about the way you feel is important to them as much as it is to you. Moral of the data: make sure your spouse knows you find them attractive (speaking to the 95% of you who do find your spouse attractive). We are expecting a baby later this year. Kissing. There are many reasons why a man loses interest in sex. These concepts have been expressed in several guides that dont accurately explain what it means to the listener. Others suggest fears surrounding the safety of the fetus may prevent some men from initiating sex. Every little thing you do seems to rub her the wrong way. You may need to reclaim your individuality to an extent; in doing so, you will both feel a resurgence of libido. Sexual attraction may decrease because theres no communication. | They enjoy hugs. There are lots of factors that lead to decreased attraction Debi Silber, a transformational psychologist and health, mindset and personal-development speaker, tells SheKnows that a decrease in. I ask if there is current physical attractionand if it ever existed. Your email address will not be published. To do this, stay confident and give your partner a chance to react. I'm sitting here trying to work out the best way to put this - because there is no right way. When you are seeing signs your wife isnt sexually attracted to you, the first thing youre going to have to do is to take a step back. Another issue that plays a vital role in your wifes desires is the level of the problems present in your relationship. In fact, its often a sign that we arent satisfied with our current partner. Other than that, his time and interests are primarily focused on his career, his hobbies, and/or his friends. I encourage you to take a look back at your previous relationships and determine if you ever initiated sex or not. New flash! Like someone she cant wait to get home so that she can get you alone in your bedroom? Are they exclusive, or do they work hand in hand? If a woman continually tries to get your attention (e.g. Unless youve suffered past traumas and dont like to be touched by anyone, then you can disregard this sign. You shouldnt do anything that would make you look clingy, needy or desperate. You just need to make sure that youre making the effort to implement the solutions in your everyday life. isnt because you are adding extra fat below the belt or because you do not have the energy of your youth. The third sign that your ex is still attracted to you is that your personality is for the most part the same. How? He is my best friend, I love him and loved him for saving me from my journey of self destruction. And yet we still dont pay homage to all that can make a relationship work. Challenge yourself to improve your quality of life and interact with many people. Hence, we see lots of women shying away from sexual activities while their spouse feels undesired. As one client remarked, Its a couples-oriented society and I hate feeling like a third wheel., Many people believe that the importance of physical attraction is overrated. Haha Just couldnt possibly be an equal thing its always the mans fault! For this content, we would look at the statement men make concerning their relationship and marriage, which is My wife loves me but doesnt desire me. So, what is love, and what is desire? We have two boys, ages 2 years and 7 months. So, for the most part, a relationship could work if you and your partner are not sexually attracted to each other. Were happy to have you with us! People stuck in a relationship lacking physical attraction will most likely have little to no sex. One female client made a deal with her distancing husband: At least sit next to me on the couch while we watch television. Poor Sex Life. So as you allow for some space in your relationship, spend time going to the gym, pay attention to your appearance, make sure that you devote time to your personal and professional goals, fill up your schedule with people and things that bring you joy, and really work on becoming the 2.0 version of yourself! Affairs. * This is the first article of two discussing the issues of when a husband is not physically attracted to his wife and sexual intimacy in marriage. Haha, I thought exactly the same as Tim while I was reading this, Dont get me wrong, i agree with some of this, but to say everything wrong is with me isnt right. 4. The initiator of an affair might be the mate who claims to have an attraction but feels deprived by the other. Not everyone is sexually active. Doing this is important because if you dont feel like sleeping with your partner, but you feel like sleeping with someone else, then maybe its just an incompatibility between the two of you and youll know what to do. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.com/letters-terms. It could be very difficult for you to fully accept the way you feel and the fact that youre not attracted to your partner (anymore). And once an affair becomes physical, it becomes that much harder to stop. So what is the desire, and who is capable of having desire? My wife isn't attracted to me anymore: No intimacy The biggest sign a woman is not attracted to you is when she has no desire to be intimate with you. But I beg to differ. Humiliating a partner on the grandest stage is often a sign of unhappiness with a relationship. Why? It was a negative cycle that we needed to break. Thank you for the article. Based on my own personal experience with them, I know theyre legit, kind, and helpful. The factors that contribute to physical intimacy between a couple are numerous, but the main feeling is attraction, which stems from both interpersonal and physical aspects. Melissa W . and desire, we have to get a better view of their meanings and intention. This goes without saying and it's one of the things that can be the biggest blow to a man's ego. Ignoring physical attraction when choosing a partner makes a relationship more likely to be temporary. 3. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. Having a sexual attraction to your partner is important, but its not everything that makes a relationship work. Its just human nature. approaches you, starts conversations with you, texts you or calls you, etc) or maintain your attention (e.g. Maggie's secret? Yes, youll need to make sure that you NEVER beg her for sex, because this will make you look needy and desperate, and instead, youll need to focus on attracting her to you in a new way. The trick is to have a heart-to-heart with yourself and determine what to do next. Unfortunately, that was exactly who I had unwittingly become in the early years of our marriage: his mom. The stress of everyday activity can interfere with your marriage, and your wife will have no sex drive. I dont want you to panic. These concepts have been expressed in several guides that dont accurately explain what it means to the listener. Stand your ground in an argument. However, as you try to make a move, she throws you off by offering a drink or a few moments in the shower. Do you like the idea of being with someone who is passionate about all that they do, or do you prefer a laid-back partner who never gets too excited about anything? I cannot stress the importance of this enough! Come on, it's time to listen to your gut instinct and intuition. To properly understand the concept surrounding love and desire, we have to get a better view of their meanings and intention. And remember the importance of body language. Her secret is more simple than that, but she fears it could spell the end of her marriage. There's certainly no good way. Explain to your partner that you have noticed things that make you feel like he/she isn't sexually attracted to you, but don't use accusatory statements aimed at your partner. In case this has not happened yet, there is still hope! The first negative thing it will do if you're focused intensely on her weight is it will make her withdraw and distance herself from you. When you take the time to do your thing and your partner gets to do their thing, you both come back feeling refreshed and alive. Do you want the answer to why my wife has no desire for sex? Simply put, theres a mix between creativity and sexual desire that makes us have naughty thoughts about and with our partners. The main idea here is to find the best way that works for both of you and then just try it. 10 reasons why my wife loves me but doesn't desire me 1) She's too stressed for sex In my opinion, sex can be a brilliant way to bust stress. Sexual intimacy in marriage is such a common area of heartache, and so many wives can say "my husband is not physically attracted to me." So, if this is you too, you're not alone and it is fixable. Other people marry for reasons of age and reproductionthey are fighting their biological clocks. Your wife will love to see the small efforts which can make her want to be intimate with you again. Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site. Continue with the positive mindset and journey! Required fields are marked *. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. The word Love has held so many meanings over time, as people have tried to explain this phenomenon in the best possible way. Everyone who comes. Fantasizing about our partners is a common thing to do. Join the Happily Committed Project and learn how to transform your relationship in a meaningful and dignified way! But not just any advisor; someone from Psychic Source. Workaholicism is a danger to healthy relationships. When I see a man that I find attractive, I get excited. He is either not attracted to you, depressed, or preoccupied. 1. Reasons for Lack of Intimacy in Your Marriage, Greeks believed that love could be classified into four categories. However, most people believe that a marriage should aspire to include, A spouse can want sex, and the idea of understanding that sometimes the wife isnt in the mood for that is quite challenging, which questions the whole concept of, Another issue that plays a vital role in your wifes desires is the level of the, Kids play an essential role in marriage; they create joy and bring the couple closer together, and that is why most people want to. So, to answer your question, generally speaking, its not normal not to feel physically and sexually attracted to your partner, especially if this only happens with them and you feel sexually attracted to other people. 2. Take time every day to check in with each other without any other distractions," Hardie-Williams said.