Withnail: Marwood: Withnail: We're not from London! I've gone and fucked my brain! These aren't accidents! What should we do? It'll pass. All right here? Withnail: I've got a bastard behind the eyes. Easily Marwood: Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the f***ing farmer! Not the attitude I'd been given to expect from the H.E. save. 2 pound 10 a tit and a fiver for his arse! It is a bond filled with trust, unconditional love, understanding, and support. Belongs to the fellow downstairs. I've never met him. Because I want to walk you to the station. Mrs. Parkin: [Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff] You bloody fool, you should never mix your drinks! Withnail: Tactical necessity. Marwood: [relieved] Monty! There is a certain. It's full of brilliant quotable lines: "We've gone on holiday by mistake!" "My thumbs have gone weird". Beside there's nothing invented I couldn't take. Cunt gave him two years. He told me about your problems. I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. It has felt like listening to a symphony and here comes the crescendo. The paragon of animals! Withnail: [to Marwood] Oh, my boys, my boys, we're at the end of an age. Withnail: We forgot to bring our Wellingtons. Withnail: Withnail. We're working on a film up here. Marwood: *Get-in-the-back-of-the-van*! Withnail: How dare you! Hello? We're in danger, we've got to get out. Monty: Danny: There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! Add spice to it. The beauty of the world! Jake: Now look, you. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. We worked out it would be handy karma for him to get hold of a suit but he's a very low temperature spade, the Coalman. That's worse than meths! Withnail: Ive told you why. by Anonymous: . And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane. Withnail: Goes into court in his caftan and a bell. A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us. It is called a Camberwell Carrot. We get in there and get wrecked, then we'll eat a pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Withnail: Well, of course you don't, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? Marwood: (Voice-over) Danny's here. It'll pass. Withnail: I could take double anything you could! And I've come in here with the express intention of wishing one on you! The bastard's about to run at me! I can never touch meat until it's cooked. Quotes.net. We want the finest wines available to humanity. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). [pointing an eel at him] [Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. [Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. [extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky]. Withnail: The thermostats! [to Withnail] Sulking up the hill. Street: the embalmer. He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken]. These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! Withnail: Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. My heart's beating like a f***ed clock! Monty: Imagine the size of his balls. Monty: Marwood: Withnail: Withnail: Scrubbers! Marwood: (Voice-over) I could hardly piss straight with fear. You needn't explain, he's told me everything. I think we've been in here too long. Well, I don't know. [shouting at his cat] Black puddings are no good to us. How dare you! [picking up an apron] Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your fucking appendix doesn't mean anything! An old woman with a clunky hearing aid pinned to her apron opens the door]. You got a rush. Danny: Look at my tongue. Withnail:I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! You been away? let him get his drugs out! Uncle Monty: (referring to his cat) Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. Monty: Well, of course you dont, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? We are multimillionaires. To tutor it in the ways of righteousness, and procure some uncontaminated urine. Discover the priceless words that sparkle and shine here. Marwood: Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? Monty: [gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back] What do you want? Yes, you are! I say, you know what we should do? How can I possibly know what we should do? Half an hour? Find your neutral space. He went to the other place, Monty. Uncle Monty: Sherry? It's like a bloody rugby ball now, it will die, it will die! It's the only solution to this intense cold. I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. Monty: Here hare here. Withnail: We're in the middle of a f***ing gale. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. It's wearing a yellow sock. Course you have, you're the poacher. The old bugger's come a long way and I didn't want to put the wind up him. Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up! Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. For reasons I can't really discuss with you. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. Marwood: I've told you why. [he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it]. Any minute now he's going to rush out and get into his tights. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Withnail And I. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. Marwood: I mean, look at us! Danny: The sky's beginning to bruise, night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. Just you wait! What a piece of work is a man! Uncle Monty: Here hare here here hare here! But old now, old. Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. What good's the side? Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch]. St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. No fridges, no televisions, no phones. Man delights not me. . A self-sustained nicotine-yellow and fly-blown lung. There's nothing out there except a hurricane. You lose, you gain. [smiling] This ain't fancy dress." Let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Soak up the booze. Withnail: Marwood: Monty: And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Monty: Scrubbers! Poacher. Withnail: We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here and we want them now! It's like a tide. I've only had a few ales. Give me a downer, Danny. Find the exact Monty: Marwood: It's all your fault. A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. It's available on [removing his sunglasses] Ah, he knows. Scrubbers! Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. Withnail: [with his mouth full] If you can't find anything, bring in the shed. No fridges, no televisions, no phones! Withnail: [pulling a pheasant out of his coat] Hairs are your aerials. [after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. Here hare here!' You have made it high. This doesn't go down at all well. Withnail: So we're gonna make one that shits itself as well. He can eat his ****ing radish. Withnail: Withnail: I tell you, I've a fuck sight more talent that half the rubbish that gets on television. Cos if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Well, that can't be sensible, can it? An expert on bulls you are not! Find your neutral space. But now he's stopped he's much better in our sex life and in our general life." [he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. Browse Recommendations; Choice Awards; Genres; Giveaways; New Releases; Genres Danny's here. "I'm going to pull your head off." Withnail: Well neither have I. Here."" (Richard Griffiths) "Laisse-moi, respirer . Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts . Withnail: Maybe he f***s arses! Danny: The man is rich and homosexual and he tries to persuade them, but he gives up because he's convinced there's something between them. Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity. He's an expert. Parkin's been. Withnail: Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. [after trying the Camberwell Carrot] If you think you're going to have a weekend's indulgence up here at his expense, which means him having a weekend's indulgence up here at my expense, you got another thing coming. [she still doesn't answer. Marwood: What is all this "tactical necessity" and "calculated risk?!" Look at him. Marwood: Monty: Peter Marwood: That's alright, I'll go alone. Withnail: I mean look at us! But sooner or later you got to get out, because it's crashing. You can use the left-hand menu to view some of the most popular quotes from the main Withnail and I characters . Monty: Depends entirely on the quality of the wine. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. He told me that first day you came to Chelsea. Marwood: (Voice-over) Thirteen million Londoners have to wake up to this. Peter Marwood (I): We want the finest wines available to humanity! Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! How dare you call me inhumane?! Here. Jake: This dreadful little Israelite. Uncle Monty: Oh my boys, my boys, we are at the end of an age! So, there's this judge sitting there in a cape like fucking Batman with this really rather far-out looking hat. Marwood: You know what we should do? If The Crow and Crown ever had life it was dead now. Withnail: We shall buy this place and fire you immediately. Withnail: How can it be so cold in here? [on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing] Give it a chance. It won't be the first time I've been left with the couch. I need at least an hour for lunch. Top 65 Best Nikola Tesla Quotes On Energy & Success 2023, Top 70 Bengals Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 68 March Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 57 Airplane Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 65 Philippine Literature Quiz Trivia Questions And Answers, Top 62 Chemistry Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 63 Biology Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023. My brain's capsizing. I wondered if you could sell us some food. Especially that pimp! If he comes into my room again, it's murder, and you'll be held responsible in law! Withnail: How should I know where we are? "Boy lands plum role for top Italian director" Course he does! Call Of Duty 4 Modern Warfare: War Quotes - YouTube www.youtube.com. I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. Nor women neither. Marwood: Marwood: Jesus Christ! What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that., Flowers are essentially tarts. [reading a newspaper] Tea Shop Proprietor: Ponce! Marwood: I called him a ponce. You don't deserve such loyalty. Why have you drugged their onions?! This ain't fancy dress." Marwood: We're early. Listen, Withnail, it's a stinker. Withnail: You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and f*** off while you're doing it! Monty: 10 quotes from Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay: 'We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell.' . Marwood: He's right, Withnail, look at him! [teary-eyed] Marwood: Well, I don't know. Danny: [after a phone call with his agent] When that moment comes, one's ambition ceases. [toasting with a drink] No, man, this was more like a long white hat. [voiceover] I mean to have you even if it must be burglary. Marwood: It's the only solution to this intense cold. Withnail: Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Opened the oven door and it was in there looking at me. Marwood: (Takes the shotgun) Well let me tell you something, Withnail. I've been to drama school. One of us has got to stay on guard. Withnail: Marwood: Withnail: [whispering] He's going into your room. I've been to drama school. Two out-of-work actors -- the anxious, luckless Marwood and his acerbic, alcoholic friend, Withnail -- spend their days drifting between their squalid flat, the unemployment office and the pub. No, he'd like a bit of pleading. Marwood: We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! Were incompatible. [Withnail has been pulled over by the police for speeding down the motorway in the beat-up Jaguar]. You shouldn't treat each other so badly. Monty: Or do you shut yourself off from new experience? I feel unusual. withnail. He's a madman. What a piece of work is a man. Uncle Monty: Oh, my boys, my boys, forgive me. Withnail: All right, this is the plan. withnail and i 96119 GIFs. I don't consciously offend big men like this. We want the finest wines available to humanity. Withnail: Rejuvenate! Don't suppose you've engaged, have you? And we want them here, and we want them now! Uncle Monty: Get that damned little swine out of here! Now that represents a degree of hypocrisy I've hitherto suspected in you, but have not noticed due to highly evasive skills. Isaac Parkin: Hare. The poets represented in the book include the Old Wykehamists John Crommelin-Brown, Lord Alfred Douglas, Robert Ensor, A. P. Herbert, George Huddesford, Lionel Johnson, William Lipscomb, Robert Seton-Watson, Thomas Adolphus Trollope . Must be 20,000 sheep up there on those volcanoes, we've got a plate full of carrots. Will we never be set free? : Withnail and I. I find the quote read by Monty from the note written by the poacher very usable: "Here, Hare, here." Surely Herr Hare Here. He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken, a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick, Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon, Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window, looking at the kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes, he picks up the kettle on the stove. Danny: Marwood: share. Four floors up on the Charing Cross road and never a job at the top of them. Marwood: I didn't call you inhumane. Marwood: Do you know, when you first came in here I knew you were a services man. Danny: You're looking very beautiful, man. Withnail is cowering under the covers, the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch, screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning, the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. I could hardly piss straight with fear. Withnail: [ruefully] ", Oh! One of my favourite movies. No need to get uptight, man. Marwood: If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry - neither did they. Marwood: Then they must be delighted with your career. extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky, seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. I've looked into it. It's got to warm up. His mechanism's gone, he's had more drugs than you've had hot dinners! Reflecting these times. Jake: [as Marwood walks past him] Marwood: A coward you are, Withnail! Alright, we're going to have to work quickly. Change down, man. Hurry up, Mabs. Why don't I get any soup? Irishman: Sherry? Just run at it! I have a heart condition. You dont deserve such loyalty. By the time the doors opened he was arseholed on rum and got progressively more arseholed until he could take no more and fell over at about 12 o'clock. How like a *god*! Shut that gate and keep it shut! Marwood: Withnail: [looking at the kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes] Withnail freezes in terror with a mouthful of pie]. And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. [pulling back the lace curtain] Look at my tongue, it's wearing a yellow sock. The cottage. Will we never be set free? Afrika Korps. "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." It's trying to get itself in with you. This thread is archived. Dont be ridiculous. You fill this with piss, take this pipe down the trouser and sellotape this valve to the end of the old chap. I couldn't, I'm spaced. Withnail: Rubbish. If my father was loaded I'd ask him for some money. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum! Withnail: He winces as he stretches his leg]. grant . You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. Here grows the plant Assidos, which, when worn by any one, protects him from the evil spirit, forcing it to state its business and name; consequently the foul spirits keep out of the way there. Withnail: You want me to call whatshisname and ask him about his house? What the f*** are you talking about? Why doesn't he retire? Then you gotta change its drawers for it. Danny: I was merely making an observation. Withnail: Look at my tongue. This is a far superior drink to meths. Oh, but how dreadful. Withnail: "I'm gonna pull your head off because I don't like your head.". You know what we should do? We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Withnail: So there's this judge sitting there in the cape like f***ing Batman with this really rather far out-looking hat. I know where you are, you're at Crow Crag. Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. quotes military heroes famous quotesgram. Now, would you leave? Listen, we're bona fide. My thumbs have gone weird! The meaning dawns on him. I'm not going to understudy anybody. Listen, I know what you're thinking but I had no alternative. [the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting]. [holding up a pill] Night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drink that! The school in fiction Poetry. The man was fined $10,000 and was ordered to pay $1,843 in restitution to Maine. Danny: Withnail & I (1987) clip with quote "Here hare, here." Yarn is the best search for video clips by quote. Finally, the Withnail And I script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Richard E. Grant movie. Beastly, ungrateful little swine! I'm the firelighter and fuel collector. This is me naked in a corner! I say, you know what we should do? I could take double anything you could. Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. He's going into your room. Have you either of you got shoes? Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up. Marwood: And this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. Clip from Withnail & I Rest in happy peace Richard Griffiths ! Warm up? The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. We want them here and we want them now! We're doing a feature for Country Life. All right, this is the plan. It's impossible to make a Camberwell Carrot with anything less. Hair are your aerials. I'm preparing myself to forgive you. We mean no harm! Monty: Withnail: And how dare you tell him I love you?! I'm utterly arseholed. Withnail: It's obsessed with its gut. Little tarts, they love it! *I'll show the lot of you*! Marwood stands there, petrified]. Danny: I happened to be looking for a suit for The Coalman two weeks ago. Monty: This page was last edited on 1 November 2022, at 17:35. Danny: Add spice to it. There must and shall be aspirin! Withnail: That means we'll miss out Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. I happen to be the proprietor. Danny: I dont advise a haircut, man. As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! I feel dreadful, I feel really dreadful. In this case, it most certainly would not. Of course you are! Rejuvenate? Jesus, look at that. You little thug! I'll deal with the water and other plumbings, you can check the fuel and wood situation. He told me about your arrest in the Tottenham Court Road. You mustn't blame him. You want working on, boy. Stand aside! Withnail: Yes, as a matter of fact I have. I know you're not asleep, boy. Hair are your aerials. He won't gore you. Them pheasants are for his pot. Don't vent spleen on me, I'm in the same boat! Danny: This is ridiculous. Youre not in the same boat. ""Here. Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. I'm a friend of Montague Withnail's. Thought I was going for a minute. [after being threatened by Jake the poacher]